As I write this, today marks 11 years that I’ve made my health a priority. On October 20, 2008, I decided to start taking better care of myself after being disgusted with myself at a staggering 100+ pounds overweight and morbidly obese. If I hadn’t made that decision, I wouldn’t have been able to get on a plane without booking an extra seat, or even had the energy to do trail running along Grand Canyon’s North Rim. I wrote about this last year when I celebrated my 10th Anniversary and you can read more about that here.
This year has been about taking action in my life. There’s no doubt that I’ve had many conversations in regards to actions and I’ve even been labeled a “doer” by a friend recently. But so many people I know don’t know Deb from 11 years ago. She was a storyteller who shared others’ tales of travel, adventure, and exploration. That Deb sat on a couch complaining about her life and listened to the negative words of an abusive partner, who constantly told her she wasn’t good enough and she’d never be anyone important. That Deb gave up. That Deb ate her face off with ice cream and cookies not allowing any light, hiding in the darkness and not facing the reality of life, until she couldn’t because she was so disgusted with herself, that she HAD TO TAKE ACTION.
I feel like I’m at that crossroads again in many ways. I’ve struggled this year with anxiety and depression. I’ve battled with weight gain and understanding of my value, and worthiness to others. I realized yesterday that, while sitting in this awesome apartment that I am lucky enough to call mine, I am alone, and have no one to share it with. While all these things can push me into that dark place of giving up, I’m raging against defeat because it doesn’t move me anywhere. I’ve learned that distractions from problems don’t make the issues go away.
So I’ve decided to implement some things and set some goals going into the final months of 2019 that push me to do more and be better and NEVER GIVE UP.
#1 Self-Care / Mindfulness Challenge
I’m setting higher goals than I ever have before with regards to losing weight and hope to be at target weight by December 31st to bring in the new year. But I’ve decided to adjust my goals to focus on self-love and self-care instead of a number on the scale. So I’m working on mindful eating and being aware when I’m turning to food for hunger versus turning to food for distraction.
#2 Help others with group therapy
I’m checking out group therapy. I’ve been inspired by a few people who’ve shared their struggles publicly and wanted to share my story as well. I hope to help others and maybe learn something along the way to take better care of myself mentally, we can all use that!
#3 Trying one more scary thing to end this year of ACTION!
I’m signing up to learn how to ski! I live in Pennsylvania and I’ve never been skiing. I think it’s time! So this winter I’ll be loving the outdoors in the cold and exploring this new and scary adventure. Let’s be honest, I could get injured. I could hate it, but I’ll never know until I try. And I know that no matter what, I’ll have a story to share.
I’ve shared stories over this past year of taking my first international trip, learning to kayak, becoming a rafting guide, going skydiving, moving to a new home, and riding a horse. I’m so proud of all the choices I made to do things that put me WAY outside my comfort zone, so ending the year with ski lessons feels like the perfect way to end this ACTION-PACKED year!!
Cheers!~ Here’s to a kickass end to 2019!!!!!!!!! – Check out my photos from the Grand Canyon North Rim~